(content notice for discussion of murder-suicide, violence against children and violence against women)

So this thing happened the other day. Yet another cis dude killed himself and his children, and according to his suicide note(s) he “couldn’t live without [his] kids” and that somehow justified blowing up his house with himself and his kids inside it. They were 5 and 7.

This guy was the sole person of interest in his wife’s disappearance two years ago, but was never arrested. He lost custody of his children when his father whom he lived with was convicted of possessing child pornography as well as several counts of voyeurism, some of which was done to the missing wife. The children were brought to his house for a supervised visit, and he had rigged the house to blow up. 

I’m really upset about this, partially because of how common this kind of event is and partially because of how it was being reported. I see this with my roommates ex and how he talks about the children. Its this idea that so many cis men have that if they can’t live without their families, then their families can’t live without them. And the pursuant idea that the solution to all of this is to kill everyone. At its root it seems to be very “if I can’t have them, no one will.” I’m scared too, because I wouldn’t put hurting the children outside of the realm of possible behavior for the ex.

“I couldn’t live without my kids.” But they could keep living without you, and they fucking deserved to.

It really doesn’t help that this story keeps getting reported in the passive voice. “A man and his two children died today…” No, HE FUCKING KILLED THEM! CAN WE AT THE VERY LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONSCIOUS CHOICE HE MADE TO BLOW UP HIS FUCKING HOUSE?

I hate the world right now.